Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, Marriage, and Children - It Was Meant To Be

Posted on April 7, 2008

Once diagnosed at age twenty-five with non-hodgkins lymphoma, I was certain my love life would be on the back burner during my two and half year protocol. Living life as a cancer survivor and hoping one day marriage and children may be a part of my future seemed more like a fantasy than a reality.

I found myself going out on one or two dates with someone and end what could have been a potential relationship on purpose. What if he found out I was stigmatized with cancer, non-hodgkins lymphoma, and ran for cover? How would I feel? How devastated would I be? Could I handle that kind of rejection based on my medical situation and physical appearance? Marriage? Children? These questions were far from superficial and barraged my mind. They were real, right down to the core. It was the fear of rejection, humiliation, and thoughts of what gentleman would want a girlfriend bald, gray, and going for cancer treatments?

I had a great wig and with some make-up no one was able to tell I was struggling to survivor cancer. I was twenty-five years young going to the bars, parties, and any and every other social function imaginable. The cancer didn’t stop me there. It just kept me from entering into a relationship; actually it was me who kept me from entering into a relationship. During that time, I gave the cancer way too much power. Until I met Ronnie. I never would have expected that within nine months, post the non-hodgkins lymphoma diagnosis, love was about to bloom and change my life completely. Yes, it was meant to be.

When Ronnie first asked me out on a date I was extremely apprehensive. He wanted me to let go of feelings of insecurity that I allowed to control me as I was on the path toward surviving cancer. He saw how I managed my cancer diagnoses, and was inspired by watching as I was capable of maintaining a smile on my face every time he saw me. I was relieved by his reaction; nevertheless, at that time, I couldn’t bring myself to get past the vulnerable state. As a result, I refused to go out with him, thinking I was doing him a favor. Mentally and emotionally I still had my love life on hold. That went on for about six months; however, during that time we became the best of friends. We went to the movies together, out to eat, golfing, just enjoying each others company. Regardless of the non-hodgkins lymphoma, Ronnie remained persistent and helped me to see that I deserved to be happy in every aspect of my life. He knew I wanted to be with him, just as he wanted to be with me. It was so surreal that someone like him would accept me as a girlfriend, hairless and with a blotchy gray complexion. He gave me the confidence to be secure with our relationship as it progressed further, finally culminating into true love. He became my rock and never asked for anything in return-just my health and happiness. We married on our four year anniversary, and sixteen months later we had our first of three *miracle* children. We feel just as strongly about our relationship, if not stronger than before. We were given the opportunity to have children - something the doctors were certain would never happen. The cancer protocol was supposed to put my twenty-five-year-old body into menopause. The love and appreciation I have for my husband and children will never be taken for granted, not after living with cancer. Non-hodgkins lymphoma, marriage and children ~ it was all meant to be.

To read more about me and my story, or take a look at the book I wrote about my experience titled, The Will to Live: The Perks of Cancer Through the Eyes of a Survivor, a cancer survivor book, please visit my website at http://www.erinley.com

by Erin Ley, Author/Presenter
President
ONWARD PRODUCTIONS, INC.

Article Author :Erin_Ley

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